Should a man ask a women if she likes anal sex on the first date? Or should a man ask a women on the first date if she could see herself being involved in female/male strap-on sex?
— Smooth Move

Is masturbation in marriage a sin?
— Queen Victoria

Quite some time ago, I viewed the film Eyes Wide Shut with Cruise and Kidman. In the film, as I am sure you already know, Cruise ventures into the world of a "Secret Society" and a very steamy "Private Party"! Are such steamy elite "Secret Societies" for real, and if so, how can I join such an intimate community?
— Living in La La Land

Let's say a friend of mine is in a real nice relationship, but b/c of such relationship, is also held accountable for her time. Do you know any good excuses a girl could use for lost hours between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m.?
— Pants on Fire

What is the truest measure of a man's sexual ability? Is it penis size, and penis size alone? If a man has an average, or even a small penis, should he respectfully cease to bother the female sex with his hopeless proddings?
— The Last Person in Line When God Was Handing Out Brains

Are the women in your emLoTitle.gif wearing buttoned blouses under their little brave-new-world bandanas, or am I viewing the tender nipples of bright patriotism?
— I. Wish

Married, but been seeing this chick for last seven years, right? We've done it all: skiing, golf, winning and dinning and all the apres activities. Now, she finds a guy who is baggage-free and her own age (thirty-six) and has her eye set on tying the knot. But, says she still wants to see me because of the fun we have between the sheets, except she won't let me cum [sic] inside her anymore. Time to move on?
— Understater of the Year

My wife is angry over some pictures I took of our secretary. She was nude, but the photos didn't depict nudity. What's the big deal?
— Duh

Where do women, in the VA, MD, DC area go when they just want to get some, no muss, no fuss?
— No One in My Hometown Will Date Me

What is the next best feeling to pussy?
— No One Will Date Me, Period

I'd love to take my wife to a XXX movie and have her take her top off so all can see her tits. And maybe let someone next to us play with her tits so I can watch. But she said no. I keep asking hoping some day she will do this for me. How can I convince her?
— Perverted in Alberta

Tell me, do you have any female friends from the Planet Nomolos you could hook me up with?
— Alf

I'm kinda seeing this girl, she is friends with my roommates. I don't really dig her all that much, and plus I just don't have time. She keeps calling me and I kinda keep blowing her off. I'm not sure what I should do. What do you think?
— Unable to Wipe My Own Ass

Write back please. I write for the New York Times and not even I am as stuck up as you!!! You have no right to be!!!! After all, aren't the two of you married? Fuck you.
— Norman Bates

I have been dating/fucking a man that I am in love with for two years now. He tells me and shows me that he loves me but says that I am not the right one for him. However, if I tell him it is over, because I am not the right one, he still calls me and asks me out. Do you think that he is scared of a commitment?
— Asleep & Not Smelling the Coffee

Can you first list your qualifications when it comes to sex? We have to know that you are experts before we trust you. Please be explicit as possible and show as many pictures as you have. Thank you loads.
— I'd Like a Pony, Too