If you accept the first offer that comes along, you'll never know how many more you might have had to choose from. Don't listen to your friends who tell you that you're being "selfish" by making people wait for an answer. They're just jealous that they're not more in demand.

Confusion will probably lead you into the arms of the wrong person. You're probably thinking, "Well, at least it's a hug — I'll take what I can get!" But not even you, Taurus, should be so desperate. Instead, sit on your hand until it's numb and then have your way with yourself — that's the closest you'll get to the "right" thing, at least this week.

The stars tell you to "prepare to have a good time" this week. Of course, "good time" is a very personal, subjective thing, and so is prepping for it. If your idea of a good time is winning at Connect 4, then don't bother shaving your naughty bits. There's a vice versa in there somewhere, but it makes us blush just to think about it.

See Taurus. Use lube.

If we had a dime bag for every time the stars told us to convey the message "Get out and strut your stuff and you will attract all sorts of interesting attention," we'd be stoned out of our minds. Fortunately the stars don't deal in narcotics, so we're still clear-headed enough to be able to tell you this: Get out and strut your stuff and you will attract all sorts of interesting attention.

It might feel like someone's trying to steal your heart, but just make sure it's not your wallet they're after. Keep it in a safe place. Don't give out your pin number in the throes of passion. And even if you're tempted, don't put yourself in any position where you may get stuck with the tab. If a romantic interest accuses you of being cheap, well, then, you didn't want to be going out with such a shallow moocher anyway.

You've got flirtation on tap 24/7 like a frat house has PBR. This is great when you're trying to pick up a hottie, but not so great when you're hanging with your boss's spouse or your best friend's recent ex. The results could leave you feeling worse than a PBR hangover. So if you can't stem the flow, just be careful who you're flowin' around, dig?

Don't commit to anything or anyone this week. That means no money down for a summer time share, no acceptance of invitations to any Bachelor season finale parties, no promises of lifelong fidelity, and no agreeing to reciprocal oral sex either.

You've got a great party persona, but make sure your party face isn't masking the real you. Because when someone falls for your party tricks and then dumps you in the morning when the party music stops playing, man, does that suck.

You and someone you work with are going to get it on. Just don't let them take pictures, because you know they'll somehow end up on the company server or in the company newsletter.

You're looking for that special connection who makes your face flush, your heart pound, and your genitals...well, let's not get into that. (Though you might want to consider wearing more forgiving outfits.) Get involved in a physical activity you really enjoy and it might just lead you to that special someone. And if not — hey, at least the physical exertion will make your face flush and your heart pound. Like Meatloaf said, two out of three ain't bad.

Be the ball this week and play hard to get. Don't let anybody scoop you up and slam dunk you, at least not yet. Make them chase after you, break a sweat. Make them work for your balls. We mean, your ball.