You will be a big talker but when it comes to pinning you down about love issues, you are not likely to be forthcoming. You will play a great game of cat and mouse leaving anyone interested in you wondering. The stars don't say whether this is good or bad. But if you ask us, it blows.

Attending work-related events (or perhaps just the social security office, if you?re currently "between jobs") could lead to an interesting connection this week. If you're finally grown-up enough to wear your heart on your sleeve and show everyone how wise and together you are, it could be an especially interesting connection. If, however, you're still hung up on how "uncool" it is to be wise and together, then we're guessing that your workplace connection will be more of the drunken Xeroxed-genitals variety.

Holy booty, Gemini! You're going to have one heck of a time fighting off all your suitors this week. Seriously, the more you flirt, the more action you will get. Gemini, you're our hero. Bring a trusty sidekick along to help you in these "battles."

Hey you? Yeah you, the lackadaisical loner over in the corner nursing a drink and an unhealthy case of self pity: Get up and make your move before your social skills (not to mention your ass) get all flabby from lack of use.

You want sex? Well sex costs. And right here is where you start paying. No, not in fancy dinners or a few neatly folded bills discreetly exchanged in a seedy motel room. In sweat. The kind of sweat you work up when you're trying to be witty, charming, engaging. You know, when you're just being you. Have a Power Bar before you go out.

Life can be like a fairy tale, it just takes a little longer to get to the happy ending. Like this week, for example: toads, toads, toads, toads, toads. So don't bother kissing any of them, unless you like getting warty lips.

Don't even worry about the dude you don't think has noticed you: There isn't a chance in hell that he or she hasn't. Well, maybe you should worry, depending on when they noticed you. If it was when you had one of those booger danglers, then it goes without saying that you should be very, very worried.

While it might be true that the more people you screw, the more likely you are to fall in love with someone you screw (hey, love can be a numbers game, too), it's not necessarily the healthiest approach — mentally, physically, karmically, etc. Think about this: The more people you meet, the more likely you are to fall in love with someone you meet, too. So you don't actually have to screw all of them. Got it, Einstein?

Someone's going to attempt to pull the wool over your eyes in an attempt to get you naked. Hey, ignorance is bliss.

You've been wookin' per nub in all the wrong places. Your next dose of sumthing-sumthing is going to spring from a very strange source, so make sure you've always got good underwear on, even if you're just swinging by the pet cemetery on your way to the podiatrist to have your in-grown toe-nail operated on.

You will not be alone... That's pretty heavy stuff coming from the stars. Too bad you don't know if that means you have met a true kindred spirit and companion, if you'll find a warm body to curl up next to one night in a futile effort to slough off the cold realities of everyday life, or if you've just got a peeping tom.

So there you were melding your sweetheart's face and yours in Photoshop to see what your kids would look like, except they didn't even ask you on a second date. Sucks, doesn't it? When you're drowning in rejection, take solace in the field.